BlogHer? I didn’t even know her!

I’m going to BlogHer.

Let me give you a moment to celebrate. And by you, I mean me. *Celebration in progress.”

I know, right?

Awesome. I’m crazy excited.

BUT.

In case you happen to see someone who maybe, could possibly be me, you should probably know that I don’t look like my avatar anymore, because I’m aged and robustacular. I’m okay with that – because number one, I love that picture of myself, and two, I am pure awesome on the inside. So there.

Now that we’ve straightened that out.

7 days until Blogher 2010.

Woot.

This is my first BlogHer conference.

Actually, this is my first trip, without my kids, in 7 YEARS. Its my first trip without my husband in 10, and its actually the first trip I’ve ever taken with friends. EVER – and I’m OLD, people! I clearly don’t get out much.

This may also explain the crazy, perma-joker smile that I will be wearing all weekend. If you think I’m drunk, I’m not. I’m just REALLY, REALLY happy not to have to wipe butt for four days straight.

Truth is, I may not want to go home on Sunday. The BlogHer people might have to have me removed when I decide to stage a sit-in. I’ll be the one handcuffed to the Starbucks in the front lobby. Feel free to join me.

It could happen.

By the way, you probably have realized by now that this isn’t one of those Blogher posts that will actually help you prepare in any way. However, I might be able to confirm a few things for you.

• There will be women there. Millions and millions of fantastic women. Also, a few dudes.
• You will need to bring a cardigan – because cardigans make the world go round.
• Every other store front is a Starbucks, so you will definitely be covered in the caffeine front.
• Don’t wear your cute shoes for too long. Pain trumps cute every time. So not fair. Perhaps you can carry them around for a more bohemian tribute to the pretty.
• Make sure you eat at least one cupcake and one black & white while you’re in NYC or you won’t be allowed to board the plane.
• If you see Colin Firth, I better be with you.
• Don’t leave NYC without getting a Colin Firth tattoo. This one is more for me actually, so carry on.

And now, a little head’s up about me.

• I am mostly, if not always, smiling. On the inside. If you see me, and I’m not smiling, its because I’m doing algorithms in my head, or thinking dirty thoughts. Either way, very smiley.
• I am a hugger and/or a hand shaker and/or a double and triple cheek kisser, depending on your culture. I am adaptable in my hellos.
• I have the worst memory on the planet, unless it involves useless information. I will probably forget your name during our conversation, but I can always tell you about something random that I heard about 4 years ago, especially if it involves a trashy celebrity.
• I never forget a face. Seriously – never. So if you catch me staring at you, I’m not giving you the stink eye, or the evil eye (which every Greek has perfected in their lifetime – yes that’s your warning) – I’m just trying to place you.
• If you catch me staring at your ass, your boobs, your outfit, or someone else’s, it’s because I like your outfit, may attempt to replicate it in the future and probably envy how tiny your butt is. But in a good way – I promise.
• I will not be wearing a dress, to any event or any party!
• I might come off shy in the beginning. Seriously. Bashful is so in right now.
• If you feel the need to learn some dirty Greek words, come find me. I will have an arsenal at the ready.
• If you happen to bring your baby, I may feel the need to come say hello, talk baby talk, or perhaps even hold your baby? Do not be afraid! I am good people.
• I don’t do drama, especially on a fab trip to NYC. If drama occurs, I will be that person, who suddenly doesn’t speak English, and is walking away in the opposite direction.

Don’t you feel more prepared! I’m so glad. Can’t wait to see you in New York City!!

*

I do want to give a little shout out to an event that I am hosting while in NYC. It started out as a dinner, and has developed into something way fabulous. So a huge thank you to our title sponsor – GM Canada – and all of our swag sponsors for the DinHer event. I am thrilled with how it has turned out, and quite frankly, nothing makes me happier than planning something that makes other people happy. I am adding new sponsors everyday, with no end in sight. So thank you to everyone involved!!

Eat, Pray, Love – Get Reading Girlies!!

So I originally posted last week about wanting to finally read Eat, Pray, Love and thought it would be fun to put it out there and see if anyone else wanted to join me and blog along. I was thrilled with the response, and I think it’s great that 29 of you commented, saying that you are in.

So ladies, let’s start reading!! We’re starting with Italy, and we’ve got one week to read the first section, which either means you need to read it quickly, or slow it down, depending on how you read. The plan is to blog about what we thought about each section the following Monday, so we’ll be blogging about Italy on Monday, August 2nd! I will add a linky to the bottom of my post, and hope that you link up so that we can read each other’s thoughts about the book.

Of course, it’s never too late to join us! Just leave a comment below and let me know! I also would love to know what you think about the book being made into a movie and Julia Roberts starring – I suppose it’s only a matter of time before every good and/or popular book is made into a movie starring Julia Roberts.

I suppose having a hashtag to tweet about is very fashionable right now, so how about #BoredMommyBookGirlies or #EatPrayLoveDammit. Yes it’s true – I can’t think of a hashtag that works, while not offending others. Feel free to help me out with a good suggestion below!!

Let’s read people!!

LEGGERE SIGNORES!!

Crap. I’m old. My i.d. told me so.

Crap.

It’s that day again. July 22nd.

Another year older.

My i.d. told me so.

I’m old.

When you’re old – weird things happen. Unpreventable weird things.

Bodily functions. And droopiness. And constantly remembering “the good old days”.

Like, remember when you graduated high school and laughed your ass off at the thought of your high school reunion in say 10 years. Or worse – 20 years. Yeah, I remember that – vaguely. I’m old now, my brain is creaky. Must mean my 20 year reunion will be here any day.

By the way, don’t send me an invite to that thing – I would rather swallow a screwdriver than EVER go to that.

Seriously.

Like I said, it is officially another year older on my old age chart.

I am depressingly OLD.

How do I know? What’s my proof? Well, let’s see….

1. My bowels come up in everyday conversation.

2. I found a greyish hair in the last year. Somewhere. On my old body.

3. I can’t recognize half the crap on the radio anymore. Yes I’m that person.

4. I have little kids who want to do things, and move around all the time. Their annoying youthfulness remind me that I’m older than dinosaurs. On a daily basis.

5. I’m too old to have babies now – evidently, I’m ripe for cats though.

6. I know what probiotics are. See #1.

7. Products that squeeze, tighten and suck it in are my best friends. They call to me. Problem is, I may be too old to answer.

8. I care about things. Things old people care about.

9. I get ma’am’d. On a regular basis. And I HATE it.

10. I say things old people say like, “where did the time go?” and “let’s play pinochle” and “damn you sciatica!”.

11. I can’t wear daisy dukes now. Or leg warmers. Or tube tops. How will I get through the rest of my days without tube tops?

I could go on, but in my old age, it’s best not to disturb this animal.

The ugly cry is even uglier – when you’re old.

True story.

Eat, Pray Love

I’m sure at this point you’ve at least heard of this book – Eat, Pray Love – One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia, by Elizabeth Gilbert. Many of you have already read it, perhaps even several times. I actually own it – it’s on my bookshelf, but I haven’t picked it up yet for whatever reason. I tend to buy books in piles, so I’m always behind in my reading. But Gilbert’s book has now been made into a movie starring Julia Roberts, and the fact that I’ve seen the commercial approximately a hundred times, has only reinforced the fact that I would actually like to check this book out for myself.

I tweeted this very thing last night actually, and was surprised to come back this morning with so many responses saying the same thing, so it gave me an idea. Let’s read it together. Leave me a comment below to let me know that you want to join me in reading it. After each section, ITALY – INDIA – INDONESIA, I will blog about it and add a Mr. Linky so you can add your post about what you thought about it as well. At the end of the book, we’ll do a final post with our final thoughts, whether you would recommend, etc. I’m thinking one week for each section, with a post happening each Monday – what do you think?

So, are you in? Let’s start Monday, that will give you time to pick up the book and start reading! Leave a comment below with your name and your blog name and whether you’re in!

TWO Reasons I HATE it’s-the-end-of-the-world movies

Reason ONE:

REASON TWO:

Yup. I would rather stress about things like moody little people and projectile vomit.

And I would much rather watch Alec Baldwin & Meryl Streep make out thank you very much.

Because I’m a Momma, and I’ve got enough to worry about.

So bite me you stupid “world-is-ending-movies”, and pass the rom-com.

Love Yo Mama.